


Nearly Witches Triology

by chocoholicannanymous



Category: Glee
Genre: 5x01 fix-it fic, M/M, Not Blaine or Klaine Friendly, Prompt Fic, adams-style triology it would appear, bland lighthousefucker is not a good person nor a good boyfriend, the author accepts no whining about blaine of klaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-26 01:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4984876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocoholicannanymous/pseuds/chocoholicannanymous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Going through a box of memories leads to Kurt questioning his change of heart. He had been happy with Adam, and had had no plans of even hooking up with Blaine again. So how had he gone from that to an engagement over just a few days?<br/>Written for tumblr's kurtoberfest, days 4, 5, 12 & 21.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Made Me Believe

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing except an overactive imagination, and way too many plot bunnies.

**Made Me Believe**

 

It's late, too late to do anything but sleep really, but Kurt's too wound up to relax. Sleep doesn't come easily these days, and some nights it just...doesn't. Tonight is looking like the latter.

He could go to bed anyway, but chances are he'll just toss and turn. And even if he could make his body still and heavy, that's not the issue. It's his head that's keeping Kurt up, buzzing like a bee hive. It's too loud, and Kurt doesn't know how to silence it. Nor, as it were, does he know how to interpret the screaming.

It's...muffled, he guesses, if that word can even be used for such a loud noise.

So he does the only thing he can think of: he cleans.

Or rather he goes through the belongings he still has here, in his old bedroom. They got left behind when he moved to New York in the first place, and then overlooked every time he returned, because there was always something else to think about.

He's got nothing better to do now though.

A lot of them get put to the side to throw away, or donate in the case of clothes, but then there's the box of things that in one way or another signified him and Blaine. Notes, photos, ticket stubs... A little bit of this and that, left safely behind when he hadn't known where he would end up staying.

The plan had been to take that box back to New York on his first visit home, only by then there had been no need for it, because he'd broken up with Blaine. So, instead Kurt had brought back the few items he'd taken with him, and placed them in the box. Impractical, sure, but he hadn't been ready for anything else.

In one corner he finds the gum wrapper ring, and Kurt picks it up, and places it on his finger. His heart beats faster for a little while, and he feels warm all over. _Blaine is going to propose tomorrow._ It's supposed to be a secret, yes, but really. It might be the worst kept secret in Lima. That's okay though, because this way Kurt can get used to the idea.

Blaine will want to get married soon, he suspects, and chances are Kurt'll graduate NYADA as Mr Anderson-Hummel. _Just Anderson_ , a voice tells him, and Kurt scrunches his nose a bit. Give up his last name completely? It feels...wrong. But, if that's what Blaine wants, then isn't that's what Kurt should do? _Yes. Yes, it is._

Well, that's settled then.

Kurt holds out his hand in front of himself, looking at the ring and trying to imagine what it'll look like with an actual engagement ring. Then he gets caught up in imagining the ring, or rings really, because there's two of them – he's got so many ideas as to what he'll want, and he's practically giddy with excitement at the thought of going to pick them out with Blaine.

For now though there is no real ring – because no, the gum wrapper ring, as sweet as the thought is, doesn't actually count – and the one he has needs to go back into it's box so it doesn't get damaged. Soon, just... Not yet. He'll wear it for a little longer, and then place it by his bed so he remembers to bring it with him to New York.

_I never should have left the ring here in the first place. It's a symbol of our love – no wonder things got so bad when I treated it with such disrespect._

Kurt swallows down the shame, and blinks back tears. It's been so long, and they're past all that now. Surely there's no need to punish himself further. Blaine had forgiven him, hadn't he?

There's a lump in his throat and Kurt feels like crap, and he just can't deal with any of this any more. He still has a couple of Ambien left, for emergencies, and he's beginning to think that this counts. He needs to be well-rested tomorrow after all, to look his best as he accepts Blaine's proposal while looking suitably surprised.

But. He doesn't quite like the feeling of needing pills to sleep. Maybe he should try something else first.

Carole always keeps a couple of boxes of herbal tea in the kitchen, for various purposes, or at least she used to. There's no reason to think she's changed that habit, which means there's probably something there meant to calm him down and make it easier for him to fall asleep. And if not, or if it doesn't work? Well. That's when to bring out the Ambien.

 

Just the act of making the tea is soothing, and Kurt's beginning to think he'll sleep unmedicated when he sees a shadow in the doorway and spooks. The mug in his hand wobbles, and hot tea spills all over his hand.

It hurts, and the tears start at once, but Kurt's been here before unluckily. So, he steps over to the sink and runs ice-cold water over his abused hand. It's red, and throbbing, but it doesn't look – or feel – as if he'll need to go to the hospital. That's good. With a little luck he'll even be able to try out rings tomorrow without pain.

Speaking of rings though...

The gum wrapper ring is a soggy mess on his finger, clearly beyond all salvation. Kurt feels a tendril of shame run through him at the thought of having ruined Blaine's gift, especially by something as silly as jumping at shadows (probably just clouds passing over the sky), but in his defense it really was an accident. His hand obviously takes precedence. Certainly Blaine will be able to understand that?

When his hand feels too numb to keep under the water for any longer Kurt dries it carefully, looks it over and deems it okay. There's a lingering redness, but no burns from what he can tell. It doesn't even hurt that bad.

The remnants of the ring get wrapped up in a napkin and buried at the bottom of the trash. Paranoid, yes, but Kurt's had enough lectures. The last thing he wants is for someone to find the ring and treat him to another one.

Next he downs a painkiller, goes back to his room, and crawls into bed in an attempt to at least get some physical rest if not actual sleep. (The need for a painkiller nixes the Ambien, obviously.) Strangely enough he feels himself begin to drift off almost at once.

 

When Kurt wakes up the next morning he feels foggy, and uncoordinated. It's early, much to early for him to be awake he sees when looking at the time, but for some reason he can't seem to relax back into sleep. His head is doing that screaming thing again, only this time he can actually **hear** the words. (And doesn't the voice sound different?)

It's like he's fallen through a metaphorical rabbit hole and then back again.

_**What the hell?** _

He'd agreed to get back together with Blaine? No, forget that, he had found out Blaine was going to propose and he'd been planning on **accepting**? What was **wrong** with him?

 _Get out, get out, you need to get out_ , the voice screams, and yes. He does. He needs to get out of Lima, and back to New York, and he needs to do so at once. Being well-prepared pays off, because it only takes Kurt four minutes (he clocks it) to get dressed, grab his things and sneak out of the house.

It means forgoing his skincare regiment, and basically everything except running a wet wipe over his face and pits while getting dressed, but there's a buzzing panic in his entire body and no way is hygiene more important than mental wellbeing.

He walks two block before calling a cab, and brushes his teeth while waiting. (Because now that he does have the time there's no excuse to skip that.)

Once he reaches the airport Kurt sweet-talks an attendant into getting him on an earlier plane. He's surprised that it works, but then again, it's probably less his charm and more a question of him looking really pathetic.

And then he snorts. _Let's be honest here. You show up, red-eyed and desperate, willing to pay extra to get on an earlier flight,_ _ **and**_ _you're asking if there's any way to keep you being on said earlier flight a secret if people come asking. You're like a textbook example of someone fleeing an abusive relationship._

He's not, of course, because calling his relationship with Blaine that would be crazy– and there he stops. Because that screaming voice in his head is back again, only now it's quietly citing one thing after the other that Blaine's said or done, and why they're bad, and.

Put like that it really does sound like he's fleeing an abusive relationship.

Put like that it makes absolutely no fucking sense why he had agreed to any of the things he had agreed to over the last few days.

And then he remembers.

When he'd come back he had told himself that he wasn't going to hook up with Blaine again. And he'd **meant** it. He'd intended to be civil, but no more, and then go back to his life in New York. Back to Adam.

_So how the hell did I go from **that** to almost getting engaged? What do they put in the water in that damned town?_

Kurt shakes his head, and just tries to push it away for now. Instead he powerwalks to the gate, only making a quick stop in a bathroom to clean up a little better, and then sits down to wait.

 

When the plane lands in New York Kurt doesn't turn his phone on, as he usually would. Neither does he go to the loft. Instead he hails a cab and goes straight to Adam's place. His whole body vibrates by the time the door opens.

“Hi Adam. Can we talk?”

“I'd prefer not to, actually.”

His voice is cold and clipped, but his eyes show hurt. _Oh no._

“Adam...?”

“I knew all along you still had some feelings for your ex, just as I knew we weren't exclusive. That doesn't change the fact that I don't think I deserved something as callous as a Face Book message **from your roommate** telling me you got engaged. And–”

“You, what? She, which one– No. It doesn't matter. I'm not engaged, nor am I in a relationship with Blaine again. But, it's a long story, and it's really really strange, and maybe I could not have to stand on your thresh-hold while telling it...?”

He doesn't, but then again Adam's always been too sweet for his own best. Telling his story is embarrassing, and painful, and makes Kurt feel really, really stupid. Plus it feels like such a waste of time? Really, who is he trying to kid here? Why should Adam believe a single word that comes out of Kurt's mouth right now?

He glances at the other man, expecting to be met by scorn and rage and more coldness, but instead there's a pensive look on Adam's face.

“And you're saying you only started thinking about giving Blaine a second chance after being home for a little while? And that after this...ring was destroyed, you couldn't understand your actions?” Kurt nods. That's exactly how it was. “Did you, ehm, did you feel as if 'your inner voice' was leading you in the wrong direction?”

“No, not at the time. But when I woke up, well, it was as if I really **woke up**. I thought about what I'd been telling myself for the past couple of days, and it sounded insane! It was like listening to a caricature of myself.”

Kurt's not sure he'd believe himself, what with how he sounds, but Adam just nods.

“Tell me, what do you know of witch craft?”

 

When Kurt returns to the loft the next day he ignores Rachel's screeching, and Santana's sniping, just as he ignores his dad's worried rage and Blaine's furious pouting – because of course Blaine is there, again, and his dad is siding with Blaine, again. He just pretends that none of them exist, while methodically going through all of his belongings looking for things that are connected to Blaine.

Adam's grandmother had told him that the most powerful tokens were ones that had been accepted freely – regardless if the magic on them were known or not – but that everything with a connection to the caster could work. There's a pathetic little pile on the floor when he's done (which could explain why it's been so easy to stay strong when in New York) and Kurt marches it all straight out to the trash.

The purple splotches on Blaine's cheeks and the flashes in his eyes tell Kurt that Blaine realizes exactly what's happening here. Good. Let him.

Kurt is done being under his – or anyone's – spell.

 

~ TBC ~

Title from [Under Your Spell/Standing – reprise](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uisbI67yKIs)

 


	2. And Then Everyone Else

The problem with accepting the existence of cursed objects is that it makes you paranoid. Part of Kurt wishes that he could just explain away his change of heart with something rational, but. Magic. And now he looks at everything differently.

After listening to Adam's grandmother describe in detail how seemingly innocent objects can be used to enchant a person in a variety of ways, well, it's a testament to Kurt's restraint (and sense of budget) that he hasn't burned pretty much everything he owns.

He's uncomfortable at the loft though, even after having thrown out everything with a connection to Blaine. Things are better, sure, just... Finding out you've practically been mindcontrolled has a way of getting under a person's skin, you know?

One of the things he **has** replaced – cost be damned – is his bed, along with all the bedding. It more or less cleaned out his bank account, but the thought of sleeping in that bed again, knowing that Blaine's slept in it, been alone with it... Just, no.

And what do you know, Kurt hasn't had problem sleeping once since the switch.

Worth every cent, just for that.

Now all that remains is making sure Blaine doesn't get a second chance at controlling him

 

Step one: Lima. The box of memories is still there, in his old room, and as long as it is Kurt doesn't dare return. Not even to burn it. There's no way of telling what else in it might be tainted, and Kurt would rather never set foot in the house (or the town) again than take the risk.

He knows someone who can though. Finn. His stepbrother is only two hours away, and has a tendency not to ask too many questions even when faced with strange requests. He's also more than willing to do a favor for his “little brother”. Kurt tells him, cheeks flushed with shame, that he had a temporary bout of insanity regarding Blaine, and now that that's over he'd rather not hang on to the memories.

It's something Finn can understand. Kurt ends their call with a sense of relief.

 

Fifteen minutes later Kurt's phone rings. He doesn't recognize the number, and so he picks up carefully, ready to hang up should it be another attempt from Blaine to get around Kurt blocking his number.

“He–”

“So dude. How much of Finn's stuff am I going to need to toss?”

_What?_

“What, I, **Puck**?”

“Yeah, me Puck, you Kurt. Now, get with the program. Finn. How much?”

“Maybe I'd be able to answer that if I understood the question. Why would you be doing anything to Finn's things?”

“You just sent him to the house to burn a box of things, stuff you got from Blaine. Just days after you bolted like the devil was on your heels, running away from not just your dad but Blaine and his engagement show. That's not normal breakup behavior.

“Not that anything about all of this was normal. Blaine cheats, you dump him – which, by the way, kudos dude – only to come crawling back to him every time you cross Lima city line. And this time, wow, you really lost it. Until, hey presto, you wised up and got the fuck out.

“So, what was it? Potion? Spell? Curse? And what do I need to do to protect Finn here?”

Oooookay. Puck's talking about magic, and he's doing it just as casual as he'd talk about pizza toppings, and Kurt... Kurt can't compute.

“You, you, I–”

“How do I know anything about magic? Yeah, here's a funny thing about my nana's knitting circle – I've never ever seen them knit, but I **have** seen them do shit that made the hair stand up on even my head.

“So, Finn.”

And god, one track mind. Then again, Kurt can understand. This is Puck's best friend, and unlike Kurt Finn didn't get himself into this. Of course Puck's going to focus on him.

“I don't know. Ehm, though there might be something there. Finn was furious with Blaine when he found out about the cheating, and then nothing. Less than a week afterwards it was business as usual, with Finn treating Blaine like the golden boy.”

Kurt goes over his memories, trying to find something Blaine's given Finn, but he can't come up with anything.

“I think it's fairly new, from after the breakup. Maybe something he got from Blaine when he was at McKinley? Oh hell, I don't know. At this point I'm tempted to say torch everything, but I know that's not really an option.”

They commiserate in silence, and then a thought strikes. _Oh fuuuu..._

“My dad.”

“Burt.”

And apparently the same goes for Puck. It's obvious, isn't it, once you accept magic as a possibility. Burt Hummel might not always be the most supportive father when it came to Kurt's sexuality and interests, but he'd always been on Kurt's side against the world. The way he's acted lately, bringing Blaine to New York for Christmas – when it should have been Finn and Carole, for god's sake! – and being in favor of the engagement... Kurt should have realized at once. But, in his defense: magic. He did just have his entire world turned upside down.

“There's no way dad's going to listen, and I can't even begin to think what Blaine's done to get him to this point. I'm beginning to think that arson joke should be an option.”

“Yeah, except that only works if it's tied to a token **and** your dad has it. If it's something Blaine has, or a potion, or who knows what... Look, you mind if I talk to my nana about this? If anyone knows what to do, it'll be her.”

And Kurt's strangely okay with that. Sure, he's going to make a call to Adam's grandmother as well, just as soon as they hang up, but. She's in Essex, and distance makes magic less effective. Puck's nana on the other hand is on location.

“Thanks. Really, thank you Puck. I owe you.”

“Nah. I should have connected the dots earlier, but. It is what it is, you know? Anyway, I'll call you back when I know something. And, Kurt? Maybe check up on Berry and Lopez as well? I mean, since you live with them and everything.”

Kurt shudders. Puck's right, and he should have thought of it on his own. Rachel was there for the breakup, and Santana for the aftermath. For the two of them to be on board with Kurt not only getting back together with Blaine, but also getting engaged? It makes no sense. Not if they truly care for him, and Kurt doesn't want to doubt that they do.

Santana should be easy, since he can always blackmail her with the fact that her name isn't on the lease. As for Rachel... She always had too soft of a spot for Blaine, making it hard to know what might be magic and what might just be Rachel.

Still. He's going to fix this. And worst case scenario? He'll pack up his things and leave. Or maybe he could pay for Puck's nana and her knitting circle to come to New York and deal with it? That would absolutely be worth the damage to his credit card.

 

The next 12 hours are nerve-wrecking. Finn's an easy case – Puck easily unearths an ugly bow-tie given to Finn by Blaine as a “thank you gift” for agreeing to help out the New Directions. Not so easy is (or so Kurt is later told) keeping Finn from driving back to Lima in order to kill Blaine once the bow-tie burns and the magic with it.

As for Burt Hummel, well. Nana – and yes, she's imperiously informed Kurt that he too is to call her that – and her knitting circle goes over both the garage and the house, using every ounce of power available to them. Considering that, and that Puck is busy with Finn, there's no one to stop Burt when he storms out like a bat out of hell set on tracking down Blaine.

(The truth might be no one wants to stop him, but. Carole does follow to make sure he doesn't cause too much damage.)

On the New York end Kurt tracks down a gaudy bracelet among Santana's belongings, but Rachel is beyond him. It's too hard for him to separate what's simply Rachel, and what might be Blaine's influence, and the same goes for any possible tokens. Burning everything is beginning to feel as a **valid** option this time. Kurt goes as far as to tell Adam that maybe he should, and then just write it off as doing humanity a favor.

In the end there's no torching though. Instead Adam's grandmother – “call me Elaine dear” – comes for a visit and promptly locks herself and Adam up in the loft for an hour. Kurt doesn't know what they does, nor does he ask, but his skin stops crawling afterwards, so he's good.

In fact, he's more than good – he's given a raise at vogue.com, Rachel has dialed down her crazy, his dad has come back to his side, he's building a new friendship with Puck, and his relationship with Adam is growing stronger for each day that passes.

“Good” kind of doesn't cover that. And the best thing? It's not magic. It's just him getting what he deserves when magic isn't standing in the way.

If only he'd known, Kurt muses, that all it would take to turn his life around was to add witches instead of bitches.

 

~ TBC ~


	3. Matching Set

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I would like to point out that this might be the most evil thing I've ever written. Just, fair warning, okay.

**Matching Set**

 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Hummel! Look, I know I was a complete ass to you, and I should have apologized properly a long time ago, but did you really have to go **this** far?

“Do you have **any** idea what my room looks like now?”

Kurt removes his phone from his ear, stares at it, and then replaces it.

“I'm sorry, but who is this?”

“Sebastian Smythe.”

Kurt almost does the whole removing and staring routine again. Instead he pinches himself. And ouch, okay. Not a nightmare then.

“Smythe? Why are you calling me? How do you even have my number? And why should I know anything – or care, for that matter – about your room?”

“Oh, how about because I came back from the cinema and found a goat in it? No, scratch that. I came back to my room and found a goat, in my bed, wearing a bow-tie, with my nightstand covered in cheap lube and tacky novelty condoms.”

“And you think I did that? I haven't even been in Ohio for a month, and honestly, you're not on my list of priorities these days. Unless you're going to tell me you're who Blaine slept with back in the fall? No? Okay, then I can honestly say I closed the door on you over a year ago.

“Why would you think I would do this anyway? A guy like you **has** to have other enemies.”

“Sure. Only none of them would do something like this, and none of them would ever insinuate that I have bad enough taste to actually fuck a farm animal. You on the other hand... You hated me from the second you realized that I wanted to screw your boyfriend – which by the way, temporary bout of insanity, I'm totally over it by now, and I truly **am** sorry – and who else would want to mock me for that? And yes, this **has** to be about Blaine. That goat? Wearing one of Blaine's bow-ties, and **stinking** of his cologne. In fact, I think it was even wearing **hair gel**.”

Sebastian sounds so outraged, and so disgusted, that Kurt can't help it. He giggles. The picture Sebastian paints is just so ridiculous, and well, kind of awesome. He suspects it might be a prank pulled by Puck, but there's no way he's going to spread that around.

“I'm sorry, but no. Not me. And before you ask, I don't think any of my friends would have done that either.”

 

Once he's calmed Sebastian down somewhat Kurt lets out the laughter he's been holding back. He laughs until there are tears in his eyes, and he has trouble breathing, and then – when he is calm – he calls Puck.

“Yeah, no. It's an awesome prank, and one I wouldn't have minded coming up with, but I didn't do it. I can't afford to pull shit like that these days. My juvie record and all that other crap? It's sealed. But if I get caught pulling something like this now, that's going to haunt me forever.”

And Kurt believes him. Puck comes across as stupid sometimes, but that's partly an act, partly perception and partly Puck just not caring about the topic. When it comes down to it he's anything but though, and he's truly trying to turn himself around. But, he had to ask.

“You have any idea who else might have done it?”

“Yeah, right. It's not like I have that many people who a/ are capable of pulling something like that, b/ care enough about me to do it, and c/ are in Ohio right now. It comes down to you, pretty much.” Because while Finn would have loved to retaliate, he'd go for something less elaborate, maybe more fists.

“I'm sure the lists isn't as short as you think, in fact– Oh shit. Look, I gotta go. I'll call you later, promise.”

 

When Puck calls back there's a note of panic in his voice.

“What'd he do with the goat?”

“Well hello to you too, Puckerman.”

“Yes, yes, my manners suck, and I'll be perfectly willing to let you lecture me about them when we're not hip deep in shit. Where's the goat?”

“I didn't ask. Why?” Kurt's not liking this, because the way Puck is acting is telling him something is really really wrong.

“Well, I found out who's responsible for the goat. Turns out maybe me explaining to Nana exactly why Blanderson was such a douche wasn't such a good idea. She and the knitting circle had a few too many the other night and decided to take revenge on your behalf.”

Kurt sighs. Because really? They thought sending a goat to the guy wanting to steal Blaine a year ago would somehow qualify as revenge?

“Ah, no. Smythe wasn't even part of the equation. They cast a spell on Blanderson, something about his outside matching the inside? And well...”

Kurt massages his temples with the hand not holding the phone. To think he'd thought getting witches on his side would make things easier. Don't get him wrong, he loves Nana, and her circle, and Elaine Crawford, and he's extremely grateful for them. Just... He didn't exactly sign up for **this**.

“So he turned into a goat.” A beat passes. “Yeah, I can see that. Looking back, he kind of sounded like one, didn't he? But why leave him– No. They didn't leave him in Sebastian's room, did they. He was already there, aiming to get some.”

That would explain the supplies Sebastian had complained about. But oh, it stings. So much for the undying love Blaine had kept screeching about until Kurt had blocked him completely. It's not that he really cares what Blaine does, it's more... It's humiliating.

Kurt wasted years on Blaine, on loving him and being with him, and for what? Because Blaine wouldn't let him do anything else. Because he couldn't stand for Kurt to not adore him. Because to Blaine Kurt's only value lies in being an accessory.

“Yeah. So, I've got good news and bad news.”

“Of course you do. Hit me then. Bad news first, I suppose.”

“They can't undo the spell.” _That's the_ _ **bad**_ _news? What's the good then, I won a million dollars?_ “The good news is that it'll unravel on its own, 72 hours tops. Just, I should probably go hunt down the goat.”

And no. While Kurt can see the practicality in having goat-Blaine somewhere safe, he's done catering to Blaine's needs. And he's not keen on letting anyone else do it either.

“Don't bother. You didn't do this, Puck, and so it's not your problem. Nana want to do it, fine. Let her. But not you. Besides, you do this, then Blaine turns back and sees you. You think he'll let you walk away without causing trouble? No way.

“He'll call the cops, claim you kidnapped him. And then where will you be? Just, leave him. How much problem can he get into as a goat anyway?”

There's a relieved sigh on the other end, and Kurt knows Puck knew exactly how bad it could have gotten. And yet he'd offered. That speaks volumes of what kind of friend and grandson Puck is, and Kurt takes a second to be grateful once again for having him in his life.

“Okay, yeah, that's cool. Now, how's the Big Apple treating you? And no, not Blondie, but sure, that apple too.”

Kurt banter back, happy and smiling, and they spend some time exchanging stories before Puck goes of for dinner with Finn, and Kurt... Well, Kurt goes to see how his apple will treat him.

 

Two days later Puck sends him a text with a link and the message “DON'T READ THIS IN PUBLIC”. It's with no little amount of trepidation he finally opens it. The link is for a news article about an Ohio teen being arrested for (among other) indecent exposure after being found naked in one of the pens at a petting zoo.

Kurt's not too proud to admit he collapses from how hard he's giggling.

What he won't admit however, because he really does want to be better than that, is the fifteen minutes straight of vindictive cackling he engages in once Puck shares the story of what happened while Blaine was a goat. (They're both curious, of course Puck was going to snoop until he found out.)

Sebastian had called the petting zoo, bribed them to pick up the goat at once, and then washed his hands of the mess. (Literally and figuratively Kurt suspects.) Nothing out of the ordinary there. But once at the zoo, oh my. Goat-Blaine had been an instant menace, spending all his time either attacking both humans and animals, or trying to mate with them.

The staff at the petting zoo had decided that the best solution would be immediate neutering.

All in all it's a fitting punishment, Kurt thinks.

 

~ The End ~


	4. Smells Like Turpentine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, ehm, have an unplanned little after? (It looks like this is turning into an Adams-style triology.)

Even after months of peace Kurt feels uncomfortable at even the thought of going back to Lima. The thought of running into Blaine... “Uncomfortable” doesn't even begin to cover it. More like “hi dad, can I borrow your blow torch?” and that's on a good day.

On bad days Kurt thinks about where to hide a dead body.

Still, he feels an obligation to go back, to visit his dad and his family. Yes, his dad has come to visit four times now – two of them after Blaine's influence was removed – and Carole had accompanied him once. Finn's visited too, once on his own, and once with Puck. (That particular weekend had been a riot.)

But. Kurt still feels guilty about not returning the favor. He's supposed to go home and visit, isn't he? He'd intended to, before all of this. That is, after all, why although Kurt's working in New York during the summer, he's arranged for the first week of August off. His dad knows this, and now he's begun talking about what to do. And Kurt... Kurt doesn't know how to tell him that Lima isn't home anymore, and the idea of returning there makes him want to vomit.

After the first time his dad brings it up Kurt wakes up screaming three nights in a row, cold sweat covering his body and ghoulish images cluttering his mind.

Adam puts up with it all for all of 48 hours, and then offers an out. They've been a couple for long enough that Adam's family wants to meet him, and it's easier for them to pay for Kurt and Adam to come to England than for “all of them” (an expression that scares Kurt just a little bit) to fly to New York.

Burt Hummel isn't exactly happy about it, but as it stands he can't really complain. He's had the chance to meet Adam, they all have, while the same isn't true for the Crawfords and Kurt. Yes, he's met Elaine, briefly, but none of the others.

So. Essex instead of Lima. Kurt would say he's thrilled, except he's kind of terrified. Of course, he **is** thrilled, just. Fear. It has no logic.

 

As it turns out, Adam's family is warm and welcoming, and Kurt spends his week constantly smiling. The one exception, strangely enough, is the 24 hours they spend with Elaine.

 

“I don't understand. Adam says you're very talented in the kitchen.”

Elaine looks at the smoking mess on her stove, nose wrinkled, and her expression screams of being deeply offended. And Kurt, well, he just feels mortified. He might never win any cooking contests, but he hasn't made such a mess in the kitchen since he was ten.

“I might not have said 'very' myself, but yes, I'm normally more than competent in the kitchen. I was responsible for the majority of the cooking at home from when I turned 11 until my father got remarried when I was 17. For crying out loud, I mastered **soufflés** when I was 14!

“This? This never happens. Never. Are you sure the recipe is correct?”

There has to be a reason behind this absolute disaster, one that isn't Kurt. There **has** to. Because if not, then Kurt failed, and he doesn't deal with failure very well.

“Yes. It's been in my family for centuries. Generations of Crawford witches has successfully made this potion, since before the colonies broke free, and there is no mention anywhere of something like...this.”

She waves at the pot, with its tar like contents and turpentine smell, and looks even more affronted. _Oh goodie._ Apparently, not only has Kurt failed, he's managed to somehow insult the capabilities of Adam's entire family going back for who-knows-how long, and _**wait**_.

Potion. Witches.

“Are you trying to have me do **magic**?”

Kurt winces. That came out a little less as a question and a whole lot as a screech. Not good. Just, magic? He doesn't want anything to do with it. He doesn't mind Adam practicing, or dabbling, or whatever, just as he doesn't mind with Elaine or Nana's circle. But that's similar to how he doesn't mind Finn dating girls. It's not something he wants for himself.

“Yes, why?”

“Because if you'd told me that, then I would have refused. I understand that magic can be a force for good, and that not all witches are evil, but that doesn't mean I want anything to do with it myself.

“For me, magic is the tool used to mind control me. To **rape** me. And you thought that it was a good idea to drag me into it?”

It's only years of exercising an ironclad control over himself that keeps Kurt from throwing up at Elaine's feet.

She looks furious at first, but as Kurt speaks a look of understanding replaces the fury.

“Oh. I see. My apologies, I didn't think of it like that. I only thought that since you accepted us so easily you might want to try some yourself.”

“And if you had asked, then maybe. Maybe not. Just... Adam loves you. I like you. I **owe** you. Just, never put me in this position again.”

Kurt shivers, and Elaine looks at his and nods.

“You have my promise. Would you like a cup of tea? I'd suggest chamomile, but... I do have a perfectly normal Earl Grey as well. We'll go with that.”

Once they're seated with their tea, and a tin of shortbread (and the failed potion has been disposed of) Elaine looks at him speculatively.

“I think I might have an idea as to why the potion failed. When you told me how you felt about magic, there was... There was power in your words. I suspect you have a talent, and could have made for quite an amazing witch under other circumstances. But, what your ex put you through turned you firmly against magic – quite understandably. However, power doesn't simply go away.

“If I'm right then your inherent power, what you would have put into spells and potions, have acted on your wishes and formed a shield of sorts around you, keeping others from working magic on you. I suspect this means you will never be able to do magic on your own. But, I also suspect it is a price you're more than willing to pay in return for the protection this will provide you with.”

Kurt's at a loss for words. Power? He's supposed to have power? And then his mind finally stops spinning long enough for him to catch on to some of what Elaine is saying.

“You're saying I'm protected? Does that mean I can go visit my family without being afraid of, of this whole mess repeating itself?”

Elaine nods, and carefully ignores the tears that start welling up in Kurt's eyes.

 

“Dad, hi! Look, just, I managed to swing an extra couple of days off. You mind if I come back for a visit? Me and Adam both?”

 

~The End ~


End file.
